youflatchestedhorsefuckingcunt:

"The bride will now recite her vows."

"Now, listen here, you little shit."

convexly:

why can’t stuffing my face with pizza make me attractive? 

(via fake-mermaid)

barebackinq:

a strip club but instead of naked women its cute dogs that you give dog treats to for them to do tricks

(via fake-mermaid)

titytwochainz:

every family got a plastic bag full of plastic bags

(via undedicated)